Greg & Veronica's Singapore Update

Volume 13

Saturday, 31OCT98

"Thai Nitnoy and Other Asian Titbits…"

Bangkok's notoriously congested traffic includes some unusual vehicles, including:

To ease the traffic situation, many of Bangkok's streets are one-way. Often, there will be three lanes going in one direction and a bus lane going in the opposite direction. However, the term "bus lane" appears inaccurate since it generally used by the cars as a passing lane. To do this successfully requires jumping into the lane right after a bus goes by and accelerating until you are about to collide head-on with another bus. At that point, you turn sharply back into the car traffic and assume someone will make room. The Thai seem very comfortable with this maneuver, but it's very nerve-wracking to those uncomfortable with inspecting bus bumpers up-close.

While cars appear to generally limit their exploration of the on-coming traffic lanes to the relatively uncongested bus lanes, Thai motorcyclist are more adventuresome. Because of all of the one-way streets, it can be inconvenient to get from point A to point B. Motorcyclists have solved this problem by ignoring the general flow of traffic. Now, they aren't completely crazy; they generally limit themselves to 9-10 blocks of against the flow traffic. Anything longer than that and they appear to be willing to limit themselves to finding out exactly how small a space is really necessary to squeeze between two cars.

In addition to being right on the river, Greg's hotel in Bangkok offers MTV. Surprisingly, it isn't the American MTV, nor the European MTV or even the Mandarin-language Chinese MTV; it is the Indian MTV. Greg is developing an appreciation for Indian pop music. A frequent commercial on the channel is for an Indian candy with the slogan: "All mint; no hole".

Speaking of TV, Greg's trip to Japan offered him the opportunity to observe Japanese television. The stereotype is that the Japanese don't do anything individually, everything involves a group. Television appears to bear this out; Greg didn't see a single show that didn't feature at least 3 co-hosts. Most featured panels of 5-6 people and consisted of short little documentaries on an amazing variety of topics (e.g. eels, erotic art, baseball) followed by a discussion by the panel about what they saw. Very strange.

In September, Malaysia hosted the Commonwealth Games. While it probably didn't get much attention in the U.S., it turns out that the Commonwealth Games are second largest sporting event in the world (after the Olympics). Athletes from all over the (former) British Empire (including teams from Belize, Cyprus and Nauru) compete in a huge number of sports. Since Malaysia doesn't have enough sportscasters, they carried a lot of the Australian television coverage of the Games. It was nice to hear the Australian sportscasters making no attempt to appear unbiased or objective. It was also nice to actually see the sporting events rather than the dramatic "up-close and personal" stories about the difficulties various athletes overcame to get to the Games. While we didn't watch all of the coverage, we did get to see some of the lawn bowling, net ball (a women's sport that appears to be basketball without a backboard), men's field hockey, ten-pin bowling, badminton (a very big sport in Asia; much more exciting than the U.S. backyard variety) and synchronized swimming. Veronica even tuned in one night and found synchronized swimming singles (i.e. only one swimmer); this was a surprise since we always believed this sport required at least two swimmers (hence the need for synchronization).

Do you like bacon or ham? If you do, don't plan on finding any of it in Malaysia. Since its population is predominantly Muslim, pork is a no-no. In fact, to be certified hallal (i.e. food is prepared in accordance with Islamic rules/regulations) most restaurants don't even serve pork products at all. Even Burger King and McDonald's are certified hallal and replace bacon and ham with "beef bacon" or "turkey bacon". The Hard Rock Café replaces pork with lamb in its pulled (pork) barbecue sandwich. The lamb barbecue sandwich is actually quite tasty, but we're not so impressed with beef-derived bacon. Burger King and McDonald's here in Singapore, have also decided that the benefits of hallal certification outweigh the benefits of real pork products. This has meant that Greg has had to do without his traditional "smokehouse burger" (a burger with barbecue sauce and bacon).

Speaking of meats, the beef here is different, too. It's from Australia where they feed their cows grasses instead of good old American corn. The result is a different texture and taste to the meat. We don't eat that much beef but it really seems to have a negative effect on the ground beef. So, we have been forced to eliminate meatballs and hamburgers from our list of home-cooked meals. Luckily, the steaks don't seem to be a problem.

Electronic gadgets are very big in this part of the world. Everyone seems to own at least one cellular phone and/or pager. Actually, here in Singapore, the pager market is collapsing because so many people have the kind of handphones that accept short text messages. In Singapore, 1 in 5 people have a handphone. Just about everyone in our industry has one; it is a very rare meeting in which someone's handphone doesn't ring. Actually, it is a rare anything when you don't hear a handphone or pager go off. This includes in restaurants, movies and theaters. When Greg took Veronica out for her birthday, we ate in a nice little Italian restaurant that was empty except for a table of four young professional women and us. During most of the dinner, 3 out of the 4 were on their handphones chatting away. Our company tries to make it a rule that our people always turn off the phones before a meeting starts and do so in a very noticeable way that might encourage other people to do the same. Unfortunately, it rarely works.

Although Singapore is a small country, only 14 miles by 26 miles, they currently have 2 mobile phone companies. In the next two years, another two companies will start up. This should drive prices to ridiculous lows. Already, the two companies are fighting it out quite aggressively. Unfortunately, there is little to differentiate the companies. In fact, you can use your phone with either service and switching companies only requires popping a little card out of your phone and replacing it with a new one.

This handphone mania is widespread throughout Asia. Most of the countries have compatible systems so it is very handy for people who travel. They can be reached no matter where they are around the region and even in much of Europe. (This "feature" is why we don't own a handphone.) All of this has been good for our business: the competition is so fierce that we are talking with many (many) phone companies on building systems to figure out how to keep their customers.

A final TV-related factoid to close. One of Singapore TV's popular gameshows is "The Pyramid Game" which is basically the old US$10,000 Pyramid game without Dick Clark or any serious money. Contestants vie for the opportunity to win S$1,000 and vouchers for free food from McDonald's. Perhaps because of the prizes, the contestants are really horrible and it can be painful to watch. Or, maybe it's because the categories are too strange and difficult. A recent episode had a category called "My Name is Luka…" which turned out to be words related to child abuse. Nothing like a little light entertainment, eh?

Nitnoy -Thai word meaning small thing or little bit

Titbit -Alternate spelling of "tidbit", used here in Singapore and Malaysia